Dave on August 7th, 2008
Here’s a dude with his priorities in order. Someone has to keep these sandwich-making bastards in line. When Reginald Peterson went into his local Jacksonville Subway to order sandwiches and they were presented to him without the mustard and mayonnaise, he fought back. He called 911. “I’m not going sit and pay 12 dollars for 10 dollar sandwiches and not get what I paid for,” he told concerned law enforcement officials.
When the jerks at Subway locked him out of the store, Peterson fought back. He called 911 again — this time to report that he was outside, but his sandwiches were inside. “As I’m on the phone with you, the employee came here and locked the freaking door, and they got both of the sandwiches they did not made right inside the store,” Peterson said, as the 911 operator typed up his complaint on her imaginary typewriter.
And when the lazy, donut-eating, fat cops didn’t come fast enough, Peterson fought back. He called 911 yet again. He’d been waiting long enough; those sandwiches weren’t getting any saucier, and he wasn’t getting any closer to them.
Finally, the police showed up. They tried to explain to the sandwich-loving citizen that 911 is hardly ever the right way to solve sauce-related disputes. Peterson was eventually arrested on one count of criminal assholism.
Dave on August 7th, 2008
Auto-asphyxiation, hangovers, and Zelda. You need to watch this.
“Ah, yes, the magical, delicious heart cookie. You deserve it, after committing murder.”
Dave on August 6th, 2008
The biggest reason I always push people to buy print copies of podcast novels, apart from the fact that I want them to read damn fine novels, is the love of being in on the ground floor, of watching something blow up that I knew about from jump street. From J.C. Hutchins to Scott Sigler to Mur Lafferty to Matthew Wayne Selznick, I get to point at the book on my shelf and I’ve got a story about how I knew about it when hardly anybody else did, and how I had a little role in telling people about it.
Know what’s even cooler? Getting to do that for my actual friends. Kat Duarte, whose alter ego writes bad-ass book reviews with yours truly over at Static Multimedia, is releasing her first novel tomorrow, and if you don’t buy a copy, you’ll succumb to male-pattern baldness and you’ll never get that promotion at work. It’s got hot chicks, werewolves, vampires, and coffee — what the hell more could you ask for?
Check out Kat Duarte’s new novel Rise of the Wolf, available from Eternal Press. And join her to discuss the novel Thursday, August 7, 2008, from 7pm to 9pm Central time.
Dave on August 2nd, 2008
This site has been around since February, but getting a book published is always a good time to talk something up again. Garfield Minus Garfield removes Garfield from Garfield comics. The result, in creator Dan Walsh’s words, is “an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life.”
Not only is this inspired and awesome, but it’s coming soon to a book shelf near you. Ballantine Books will be releasing a collection of Garfield Minus Garfield strips along with Garfield’s 30th Anniversary book this October. 
Jim Davis, Garfield’s creator, seems to dig the project — in fact, he says Walsh made him slap his head a few times when he realized he could have left a panel out for a funnier joke. Imagine how hard he’ll slap himself if he ever finds out there are funnier things than lasagna.
